Behaviour & Habits
Why Knowing What to Do Isn’t Always Enough
We live in a world where knowledge is everywhere.
We listen to podcasts. We read books. We complete courses, follow experts and save posts that promise to help us become healthier, happier, more confident or more productive.
We learn what we should do.
And yet, despite knowing more than ever before, we can still find ourselves in exactly the same place.
That is because knowing is not the same as doing—and hearing something is not the same as seeing it come to life in your own experience.
The gap between knowing and doing
For a long time, I was consuming knowledge.
I listened to podcasts, read books, completed courses and joined programmes. I was constantly learning and searching for the insight that would create the significant shift I was longing for.
I applied little things here and there, but not consistently enough to create meaningful change.
At the time, consuming information felt productive. And, to an extent, it was. Learning gave me new language, new ideas and a better understanding of myself.
But information alone could only take me so far.
Eventually, I had to move from understanding the ideas to practising them. I had to take what I had heard and create evidence of it in my own life.
This is the difference between knowing something intellectually and knowing it through experience.
You may know that exercise supports your wellbeing, that boundaries matter or that consistent action builds confidence. But until that knowledge begins to influence what you repeatedly do, it remains information—not transformation.
Intention does not guarantee action
Most of us have experienced the gap between our intentions and our behaviour.
We genuinely intend to start the project, follow the plan, have the conversation or keep the promise we made to ourselves. Then the moment arrives, and something gets in the way.
We hesitate. We overthink. We wait until we feel ready. We decide to start again on Monday.
Behavioural research supports the idea that wanting to do something does not automatically lead to doing it. One approach researchers have studied is the use of implementation intentions: simple plans that connect a specific situation with a specific action.
Instead of saying:
“I want to exercise more.”
You might decide:
“When I finish work on Tuesday and Thursday, I will change into my training clothes and walk for 20 minutes.”
The intention becomes more practical because you have decided when, where and how you will begin. Research has found that these kinds of specific “if–then” plans can help people translate intentions into action more effectively. (Gollwitzer and Sheeran)
The important point is not that one planning technique works perfectly for everyone. It is that change becomes more likely when an idea is turned into a clear, repeatable action.
“I tried it, but it didn’t work”
I often hear people say:
“Yes, I know how to do that.”
Or:
“I tried that, but it didn’t work.”
Sometimes an approach truly is not right for that person. Sometimes the circumstances have changed, the goal is unrealistic, or a different kind of support is needed.
But sometimes, when we look more closely, “I tried” means:
“I did it once, it felt uncomfortable, and I didn’t immediately get the result I hoped for.”
One attempt can give us information, but it rarely gives us enough evidence to decide what we are capable of.
Think about learning to run, swim, speak in front of an audience or lead a team. You would not expect one attempt to create confidence or mastery. Each attempt gives you something: experience, information, resilience and an opportunity to adjust.
Repeated action also helps behaviour become more familiar. Habit research indicates that automaticity develops through repeating a behaviour in a consistent context—not through completing it once or following a universal number of days.
Repetition matters, but repetition does not mean forcing yourself to continue with something that is harmful or genuinely ineffective. It means giving an appropriate action enough consistent practice to assess it fairly.
The process is:
Apply. Observe. Adjust. Repeat.
Why do we give up so quickly?
Giving up early is not always a sign that we do not want the outcome badly enough.
Sometimes we stop because the first attempt was imperfect and we interpret imperfection as failure.
Sometimes the experience awakens an old belief:
- “I’m not good at this.”
- “I never follow through.”
- “This works for other people, but not for me.”
- “If I can’t do it properly, there is no point.”
- “Perhaps I’m simply not capable of changing.”
At other times, success itself can feel unfamiliar. Change may require us to become more visible, take greater responsibility or leave behind an identity that has felt safe—even when that identity has also kept us stuck.
Our minds often prefer what is familiar because familiar patterns are predictable. This does not mean we are incapable of change. It means change may involve more than acquiring new information.
We may also need to understand the beliefs, expectations and associations influencing our behaviour.
Rewiring must be reinforced
This is where internal work and practical action meet.
Rewiring a limiting belief can help create a different internal starting point. For some people, RTT may form part of this process by helping them explore the beliefs, meanings or associations connected to a recurring pattern.
But insight—even powerful insight—still needs reinforcement.
A new belief becomes more credible when your actions begin to provide evidence for it.
If you want to believe, “I follow through,” you build evidence by keeping a small commitment.
If you want to believe, “I can handle discomfort,” you build evidence by taking the next manageable step while discomfort is present.
If you want to believe, “I trust myself,” you build evidence by making a considered decision and allowing yourself to act on it.
This is why the process is not simply about thinking differently or doing more. It is about bringing internal change and repeated action together.
Evidence Builds Belief. Belief Builds Identity. Identity Changes Everything.
Before you say, “I’ve tried”
The next time you are tempted to dismiss an idea because you have already tried it, pause and ask yourself:
- What did “trying” actually look like?
- How many times did I practise it?
- Was the action specific and realistic?
- Did I expect an immediate result?
- What did the experience teach me?
- What could I adjust before trying again?
- Am I giving up because the approach is ineffective—or because being a beginner feels uncomfortable?
- What belief about myself is being reinforced when I stop?
- What new evidence could one more considered attempt create?
The answer is not always to try harder.
Sometimes the answer is to make the action smaller. Sometimes it is to change the strategy, ask for support or explore the pattern beneath the behaviour.
But do not stop at, “I’ve tried.”
Ask:
“Have I applied it consistently, learned from the experience and given change enough opportunity to take root?”
Knowing can open the door, but action is what allows you to walk through it.
And transformation is created not by what you hear once, but by what you begin to practise, prove and embody.
Ready to move from knowing to doing?
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Evidence Builds Belief.
Belief Builds Identity.
Identity Changes Everything.
Lianne Lembeck
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