Confidence
The Confidence Loop: How Action Creates Evidence
Many of us believe confidence must come first.
We tell ourselves:
“When I feel more confident, I’ll speak up.”
“When I feel motivated, I’ll begin.”
“When I feel ready, I’ll take the next step.”
But what if confidence is not something we need to find before we act?
What if confidence is something we build because we act?
This is the confidence loop:
Action creates evidence.
Evidence builds belief.
Belief strengthens confidence.
Confidence makes further action easier.
The loop does not begin with feeling completely ready. It begins with taking one action, even a very small one.
Motivation is helpful, but it is unreliable
Motivation feels wonderful when it arrives. It gives us energy, optimism and the desire to move forward.
The difficulty is that motivation changes. It is influenced by our mood, energy, circumstances and expectations. If we make feeling motivated a requirement for taking action, we may spend a very long time waiting.
Action does not always need to follow motivation. Sometimes action comes first.
You take the walk, and then feel energised.
You begin the task, and then feel engaged.
You contribute one thought in the meeting, and then realise that you have something valuable to say.
You practise the conversation, and then feel more capable of having it.
Taking action gives the mind new information. It moves an idea out of your imagination and into your lived experience.
That experience can become the motivation to continue.
Confidence is built through evidence
Psychologist Albert Bandura used the term self-efficacy to describe our belief in our ability to perform a particular task or manage a particular situation.
One of the strongest ways to develop this belief is through what Bandura called mastery experiences: experiences of attempting something, making progress and discovering that we can influence an outcome. In simple terms, successfully doing something gives us evidence that we may be able to do it again. (Bandura, 1977)
This is an important distinction because confidence is not simply created by telling yourself that you are confident.
Encouraging words can help. Visualisation can help. Understanding your patterns can help. But experience gives your mind something tangible to work with.
Each time you take action, you create a piece of evidence:
- “I said what I needed to say.”
- “I kept the commitment I made to myself.”
- “I tried even though I felt uncomfortable.”
- “I coped with the outcome.”
- “I made a mistake and recovered.”
- “I completed something I once avoided.”
- “I am becoming someone who follows through.”
One action may feel insignificant on its own. Repeated actions begin to tell a new story about who you are.
Action is action - no matter how small
We often undervalue small actions because they do not look impressive.
We imagine that change must begin with a dramatic decision, an enormous leap or complete certainty. When the action available to us feels too small, we dismiss it.
But the purpose of the first action is not to transform your entire life overnight. Its purpose is to begin creating evidence.
If speaking confidently in front of an audience feels overwhelming, your first action might be contributing one sentence in a smaller conversation.
If changing careers feels too large, your first action might be researching one course or speaking to one person working in the field.
If improving your physical health feels intimidating, your first action might be putting on your shoes and walking for ten minutes.
If setting a boundary feels unfamiliar, your first action might be giving yourself time before automatically saying yes.
A small action is still an action.
It interrupts the pattern of waiting and gives momentum somewhere to begin.
Communication skills and confidence are not the same thing
You can learn how to structure a presentation, use a particular tone of voice or have a difficult conversation.
These skills are valuable – but knowing how to communicate does not always mean you feel able to use them when it matters.
You may know exactly what you want to say and still remain quiet.
You may rehearse the words and then soften your message until your meaning disappears.
You may understand how to set a boundary and still feel guilty for setting it.
You may have strong ideas at work but hesitate to share them because you are afraid of being judged, challenged or misunderstood.
This is why learning communication techniques is only one part of the process. We also need to develop the confidence to use those skills.
And that confidence is strengthened each time we practise.
Your voice may shake the first time you speak up. Confidence does not require the absence of discomfort. It grows when you discover that you can act while discomfort is present.
The first attempt creates experience. The next creates familiarity. Repeated attempts create evidence.
Confidence can influence every area of life
I have seen how people begin to thrive when they grow in confidence.
They communicate more honestly in their relationships. They apply for opportunities in their careers. They take better care of their physical wellbeing. They ask questions, express their needs and allow themselves to be seen.
Confidence is not about becoming the loudest person in the room. It is not about dominating conversations or believing you are always right.
It is the growing belief that:
- Your thoughts have value.
- Your needs matter.
- You are capable of learning.
- You can make decisions.
- You can adapt when something does not go as planned.
- You can take action without knowing exactly how everything will unfold.
I have learnt from good examples, but I have also learnt from difficult ones. Seeing what I did not want to repeat helped me consider the person I wanted to become.
That knowledge mattered. But it was the actions I began taking that allowed me to become her.
Committing to yourself
Committing to myself has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
We may find it easier to keep promises to employers, partners, children, friends and clients than to honour the promises we make to ourselves.
When we repeatedly abandon our own commitments, we create evidence too. We begin to expect ourselves to give up, postpone the action or place our needs last.
This is not a fixed identity. It is a pattern – and patterns can be changed.
You begin by making a commitment small enough to keep.
Then you keep it.
Not perfectly. Not dramatically. Consistently enough to create a different experience of yourself.
Each completed action becomes a vote for the person you are becoming.
This is how self-trust and confidence begin to grow together. You act, you observe yourself acting, and your belief in your own capability becomes stronger.
Getting comfortable with discomfort
Growth often asks us to do something that feels unfamiliar.
Speaking up may feel uncomfortable when staying quiet has been familiar.
Taking the lead may feel uncomfortable when hiding in the background has felt safer.
Following through may feel uncomfortable when giving up has protected you from the possibility of failing – or even from the uncertainty that comes with succeeding.
The goal is not to make yourself suffer or to ignore what your emotions are telling you. It is to increase your capacity to take thoughtful action without requiring complete comfort first.
Ask yourself:
“What is the smallest action I can take that supports the person I want to become?”
Then take it.
Let the action be small enough to feel possible and meaningful enough to count.
Begin the confidence loop
Choose one area of your life in which you are waiting to feel more confident.
Then consider:
- What action have I been postponing?
- What am I waiting to feel before I begin?
- How could I make the first step smaller?
- What would this action prove to me?
- What belief about myself would I like to strengthen?
- What could I repeat this week to create more evidence?
Do not wait for confidence to arrive fully formed.
Begin with the action available to you today.
Action creates evidence. Evidence builds belief. Belief strengthens identity. And the person you are becoming finds it easier to take the next action.
That is the confidence loop.
Ready to take your first action?
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Evidence Builds Belief.
Belief Builds Identity.
Identity Changes Everything.
Lianne Lembeck
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